How I Feel About Death Now, a story

an essay by Alice B. Noelle

Released June 9th, 2025

About a year ago, I had a pretty awful seizure. I attribute a lot of reasons to this; an awful living situation, a horribly messy break up, moving half way across the country, and so much more. I was basically decommisioned the entire time, and decided, fuck it, I haven't made music in awhile, so why not try again? This is about when the first 4 Death EPs, I'll call them now, were released.

They were made pretty quickly, at least in comparison to how long this new album took, and I honestly still am fond of the rerelease I did for Boring Metro Music and original EPs, where I even made a new track, trying to be stylistically and thematically similar to the original tracks.

around late July last year, I had made about 50 tracks all under the Death universe and released them all under a compilation album called Death is (not) (true) bliss. I really don't like how I had released these tracks, most of them are pretty bad and unlistenable to, and i had decided to kind of just forget those tracks were even released at all. This supposed was it, no more Death music, I should move on to better stuff, but then, I kept making Death tracks. None of which were released, most of which have been lost to stupid mistakes on my end. But a small handful survived, and I decided I would do a proper finale, a proper send off, to this era of my life, if you will.

This is where How I Feel About Death Now came to be. It originally started out as something else, but when I thought about how bad Death is (not) (true) bliss was, it made me feel bad about how I was leaving the Death era, if you will, so I wanted to make something, and I did.

There's a lot of story telling, lore, bits, and scraps, throughout the entire album, in the covers, track titles, and the audio itself. The main cover for example is a heavily cropped and edited picture of me in the hospital when I was first recovering from anorexia.

I feel much better about leaving the Death era behind, and moving on now that I have made a more proper send off for it, and im excited about the future of what I make musically.

- Baph